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Writer's pictureJacqueline Stilling

Have you Lost your Pause Button?



I like stuff; especially clothes. There was a time in my life when buying clothes was simply an internal firefighter waiting to put out any ill feelings I had by shopping and buying new clothes.

At the time, I didn't have the money so there were several issues with this way of being:

1. I was avoiding feelings and being seduced by shopping.


2. I wasn't sitting with being uncomfortable and understanding it.


3. I added guilt to my feelings because I was creating credit card debt.

Fast forward to a time when I could afford to go shopping once in awhile and I still enjoyed STUFF! This too caused some problems. Mainly: TOO MUCH STUFF!

My house was built in 1970 - think small closets. I would buy stuff I didn't need and then have perfectly good stuff I wasn't ready to get rid of so the amount of stuff was overwhelming. I also had too many damn choices when getting ready. Who needs so many choices?!?!?!

On August 22, 2023, I decided to not buy any clothes for 1 year!

Yes this is extreme. No I haven't completely stuck to it. Yes I am gentle when I don't stick to it.

However, setting this intention gets my attention every time I WANT to buy clothes. It also gave me a pause in my life so I can determine if I actually NEED something or simply WANT something I don't need.

Here is the other thing; I don't have a ton of money. So if I buy clothes, I can't get something else that will fulfill me in a way that clothes cannot.

For me the something else is TRAVEL and EXPERIENCES.

Each time I don't add something to my already over-expanding closet, I have more money to have a meal with a friend or travel.

I'm not saying you or anyone should live like me and not buy clothes. What I am saying is that it is possible to cultivate a pause and strengthen your emotional muscles in order to wake up to what you are doing, saying, eating, buying, and binging.

None of our impulses are bad, but when we sleepwalk through life letting unconscious parts of ourselves drive our bus, we are missing a lot. And most likely building up a treasure chest of regrets.

As we enter into the season of seduction, can you pause? Ask why am I buying this? Even if it is a gift? Is is simply an obligatory buy that you are resenting and the person will regift?

There is no judgement nor right or wrong, but being more aware and conscious is never a bad thing. It leads to growth and peace. But it reminds me of a saying I heard in my 20's "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off!" Am I right?!?!? 😂😳

I hope to hear from you as the year comes to a close. Let me know how you are and what you need from me. I'll be glad to remind you that you absolutely, positively ARE ENOUGH!

Peace.





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