Thunder Road Revisted: Trauma and Healing in Real Time

Jacqueline Stilling
Oct 2
2 min read

Oct 02, 2025

A few weeks ago, we hosted an incredible musician, Dustin Lohman, for our house concert series. He had secretly learned that one of my all-time favorite songs is Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen. That night, he surprised me with it. And yes, it brought tears to my eyes.

It is not the first time the song has undone me. For my 60th birthday, my husband played Thunder Road just for me. At the time it felt like a song about longing for youth or romance, the way Bruce saw Mary dancing across the porch as the radio played.

But this past year, something has shifted. As I have gone deeper into my trauma work, maybe because of writing a memoir, maybe because of the empty nest, maybe because I’m not on any medications, or maybe simply because the Universe said it is time, I have realized this song is not about romance at all.

It is about connection

When you grow up with neglect, without that secure tether of love and attention, you carry an insatiable longing to be seen. Any hint of disconnection later in life can feel like agony. You know you are “overreacting.” You tell yourself it does not make sense. But your body does not listen. The pit in your chest is real.

And yet, healing is possible.

A small moment of healing

Just last week, while driving in my car, I felt that familiar ache and panic rising in my chest during a rift with someone I love. But instead of spiraling, I put my hand on my heart, tapped gently, and spoke to little Jackie:

“It’s okay, sweetie. We are so loved. We are so held. We are seen by so many people. We will never be alone. We are safe and secure. You grew up. You aren’t 8 any longer.”

And for the first time, the words worked. The anxious part softened. I could feel Self holding her.

Yet, I did have a sadness arrive as well. A sadness that it's taken me into my 60s to get to this point. But that's also the good news. Healing literally is like peeling an onion. Just because I'm doing deep work in my 60s doesn't mean all of the other healing wasn't good enough at the time. It allowed me to choose a soulmate, continue in a successful three decade marriage, raise two fiercely independent women, stay put in a home for over 25 years, and build a business that pays the bills.